packed and ready to go.......

Tomorrow morning we leave for China.
I never thought the day would actually come for ME to say that.
It is absolutely an insanely wild thought that this is actually going to happen.
We are packed, laundry is done, and the house is picked up enough....
Wow.  There is nothing left to do except wake up, shower the kids, dress them in their pilgrim costumes for school, kiss them, hug them tight, and send them off.  Once they are off to school my mom will arrive to take over care of Caleb and we will hop in the car with my dad and off to the airport we go.  As simple as that.  It is a really weird feeling to not have more to-do things on my list....well, I guess I could always clean some more tonight....nah, I'm done.  wow, we're ready.

To describe my feelings and emotions right now is pretty much impossible.  I can tell you two things though:  One, the closer we get the more the emotions are starting to surface for BOTH Marc and I.  And two, it is completely clear to me that this "thing" we are about to do (go to China and adopt Meili) is soooo much bigger then US.  It is so much more then we could handle, then we could do.  It is God's thing.  It is about Him and His plan for us and for Meili.  I have NEVER been more aware of His presence over a situation and my need to rely on Him for EVERYTHING.  I have never been more aware that something I am doing is HIS.  It is a humbling place to be.  I have heard people say that "Christians are weak".  Ummm, YEAH!  Yeah, I will be the first to admit that I am weak!  The thought of leaving my precious babies at home and boarding a plane that will fly across the ocean (how do planes stay in the air anyway?), that I will be walking around in a country that speaks a different language and is full of millions and millions and millions of people.  Yeah, that makes me feel WEAK.  This entire adoption journey has reminded me that I AM weak.  And the entire journey has reminded me of my need for a Savior, a Rock, a mighty God who never changes.  Even now, tonight, at this late stage of the game I am brought to my knees, humbled, looking to Jesus, asking Him to carry us through the next 16 days.  It is clear to me that the next 2 weeks is all about Him and that is actually a really good place to be because it takes all the pressure off of us. I am actually thankful that I feel humbled and weak because that's when there is room for God to do His thing. And He is so good and so powerful so I really have nothing to worry about. Isn't that amazing that at a time when I have never felt weaker I have never felt more peace and calmness?  Ahhh, God is soooooooooo amazing. 

So, the short of it is that tonight I am extremely emotional, extremely in love with Jesus, and completely at peace knowing that we are going forward in His power and in His will....and that is the best and safest place to be.

On the lighter side, I just realized tonight that I am not going to get any Thanksgiving leftovers and Marc just realized that he isn't going to get to watch the civil war game.  That's a bummer. 

So, this officially wraps up the first 14 month stage of our adoption journey.  Tomorrow we begin the second stage. 

Ah, to God be the glory....both now and forevermore!