my little autism class.

One of Levi's therapists strongly encouraged me to take a class on Autism.  And so I reluctantly (mainly because of TIME) decided to go.  It's a 6 week program.  I go and learn for 2 hours every Tuesday.  And then Marc and I both go an additional time every week for individual coaching with Levi.  I still think it will be a while before we know if Levi is truly autistic, but in the meantime we need HELP with ideas on how to best help HIM!  (and us!)  We feel like we know nothing!

So, off I go running out the door and role into class a couple minutes late.  All I could think about is that it was kinda fun to be at a "class" and I hoped to learn something.  And then, the 5 other moms in the class had to introduce themselves.  I wasn't prepared for what was about to happen.

The first mom says, "Hi.  My son is three and he was just diagnosed with autism."  And then she begins to cry.  And cry.  Oh, my heart.  Instantly, my heart was engaged.  This is all such a whole new world for me.  It's quite surreal.  Every mom had her story.  Every mom cried.  I was not prepared for that.

It was really so surprising to me that in a room of strangers, in a cold and sterile government funded classroom environment, the topic of autism and their precious children so quickly brought about such raw heartfelt emotions from these mommas. It is such a hard diagnosis for these parents to get.  And frankly, there is a LOT of extra stress is raising one of these special kiddos.........

Hmmmm, lots for me to ponder.

All I know is that God is Awesome, I love Levi, and I am thankful that there are some really nice people out there who are willing to teach the rest of us how to help our kids....that are made just a little bit differently......and that we LOVE soooo much!  AND I am really enjoying getting to meet some new people.  This autism world is a whole new world for me.........

For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well. 

 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139

a sweet encounter.

A sweet encounter for me this week:
I was working at the clinic and there was a new volunteer there.  I was busy doing my own thing (working HARD, I'm sure.) and she introduced herself to me by saying that she had overheard my conversation with another gal about Levi.  She continued saying that she knew our situations were different but she had just had a very hard meeting that morning at her son's school.  The school district had that morning officially labeled her son as "opposition defiant" and this nice single mom was devastated.  Completely devastated.

She went on to tell me of all her struggles with him.  Her fears.  The challenges.  Her heart.  She poured it out to me.  She desperately loves her son and she is completely overwhelmed by everything that has to do with him.  The road ahead with him looks very bleak and daunting.

For the most part, all I did was listen.  And really the only advice I had to give her was to LEAN hard into the Lord.  I don't even know if she knows Jesus but I know that for these things, He is the only answer to the parts that are the hardest:  the fears.

Indeed, our situations are very different.  But at the core level of our issues with our sons, our hearts connected.  Most people don't  know what it feels like to have a child who is "different", to feel completely overwhelmed by the fears of every day in the the future with your child, to be convinced that God has given you way more than you can handle, to know that the world looks at your son like he is crazy, to be judged as a parent because of your child's behavior, to know that you don't have enough time to get all the education and therapies and HELP that your child NEEDS.....etc, etc, etc. But she and I, we know these feelings...and they are HARD.

After a sweet conversation with her, I walked back into my little room and the tears began to flow.  God whispered in my ear, "See what I have brought you through.  I have carried you through those very hard first few months.  You used to be where she is at today.  And now look at your heart!  The fears are GONE!  You don't care what the world thinks of your precious son!  You love him more than you ever thought possible.  And this is just the beginning.  You don't worry about his future, now you are excited for it because you know I have got total control of it!  I have healed you.  I love you.  Trust me."  Oh, I was sooo in awe of Him.  Oh, God is sooooooooo amazing!

This new volunteer showed up that morning to work on this random project that our clinic needed some help on.  But I have no doubt that her and I working together that morning was planned by our sovereign God.  If for nothing else, I got an amazing glimpse at the powerful things He has been doing in my heart.

God is soooooooooooooooooooo worthy of ALL PRAISE!!!!!!!!!!!  To Him alone be all glory!

Life with Levi

 How can I ever begin to describe life with Levi?

Dude, it is intense.  Intensely sweet, stressful, noisy, funny, precious, challenging.....

 Eating is one of our hundred challenges with him.

 

 The therapists are delightful and we really enjoy their company.  They are really still trying to figure him out.  Join the club!

 Levi LOVES the toys they bring.  They are so sweet with him.

 Soooo thankful that we get to do it all in our home. 

 He loves to be in the middle of whatever we are doing.  I have found myself frequently saying to the other kids, "Well, this is another great opportunity to learn to focus when there are many distractions around you."  seriously.

 

Overall, after 4 months with this beautiful child of God, we don't see a lot of progress with his developmental issues....but we see TONS and TONS and TONS of progress with God bonding our hearts together with his.  And THAT is a testimony to the awesomeness of God!

 I love him more every day.

 Thank you , Lord, for Levi.