This week's reading.

Funny thing, I have never read a book on adoption.  Never.  Never really wanted to.  Until I started reading books on education/curriculums/homeschool.  Reading those books, I have to say....I am learning SO MUCH!  And so lately I have been wondering what is in those adoption books that I keep turning from that I just might be missing out on.  And so this week I have started reading my first book on the topic of adoption.

"The very children who have the greatest need for consistent, focused, responsive care are likely to be the most rejecting when it is offered.  It takes very determined parents to intrusively and persistently impose attachment strategies upon a resistant child.  The challenge of parenting the adopted toddler who has missed out on the attachment process is to regress the child back through the stages of trust and healthy dependence while simultaneously fostering acquisition of the toddler's normal developmental tasks."  page 38

"The transition to a new family is particularly difficult for toddlers because of their stranger anxiety, lack of language skills, and the developmental tasks that they are dealing with." page 35

"Our influence will always be inextricably mingled with all of their other life experiences and with their genetic composition." page 36

"...parents need to proceed with optimism and determination." page 37

"People who are happy with their choice to adopt a toddler view parenting as a privilege rather than a right, and see toddlers as filled with potential.  Thy recognize that there are no guarantees in parenting, and are prepared to respond as needed to a variety of potential outcomes.  Well informed deliberate toddler adopters realize that the act of adoption is just the beginning of a life long process of family development." page 25

It has definitely been a good read.  It's been a bit frightening.  And at other times, very reassuring.  The first few chapters try to put the fear of God into you about adopting a toddler.  I have heard it said before that adopting a toddler is the hardest age to adopt, but this book really really really stresses that point.  I am just now on chapter 4 which is moving into the topics about how to deal with all the problems that can arise. 

I have to say, I am soooo thankful that I never read this stuff before we brought Meili home.  I would have been scared out of my mind.  And I am glad to now be extending my knowledge on what all is out there in the adoption world.  And I actually have learned a little bit from this book.  There is so much more to explore.  I have my second book ready:  The Connected Child. 

Marc would like me to conclude this post by saying: I know this was a little boring but I thought I'd share.

Family Day at the Beach!

Today was just one of those days that I'm pretty sure the Lord made just for us.

A last minute day trip to the Oregon Coast.  Just us.

And it was perfect.

 Every second of it.

Great conversations were had.

Gorgeous weather.

 And yes, every Skipper trip to the beach includes soccer.  Today we even had people videoing us playing soccer.  What is that about?  It was probably my awesome soccer skills that impressed them??!!

 It was just such a treat to get away.  Just a day away to breathe in that fresh air, play play play, connect with each kid individually and very specially, praise God for our family, and talk about how great God is!

 

Just a day away.

And just what we needed!

 God is soooo awesome to give us just what we need!

Thank you Lord for this great day full of your splendor!

What's in a name?

Several years ago when we were getting close to bringing Mei home from China, I was sitting in Bible Study Fellowship and our teacher was lecturing on a passage from Exodus.  I will never forget coming across this verse: 

Exodus 32:26 

So he stood at the entrance to the camp and said, 

“Whoever is for the LORD, come to me.” 

And all the Levites rallied to him. 

That passage was soooo powerful to me.  When everyone else was trying to hide from the Lord and Moses out of shame and guilt and selfishness, it was ONLY the Levites that stood up for the Lord and gathered with Moses.  NO ONE else did.  It was in that moment that I had this feeling:  When I have my next son, his name will be Levi.  I want this verse to be true of him.  My son will be Levi and I will pray for him to RALLY to the Lord.  He WILL rally to the Lord. 

It was a weird feeling to have when we were about to bring home a baby GIRL.  But the feeling was real and clear and I had no doubt that I would have another son someday.

We were in China adopting Mei when Marc said, "We will come back soon and adopt another one."  With my words I told him he was crazy, but in my mind I thought, "I know....I have a son named Levi."  

Over the next months/years that followed, I often wondered when and where from my Levi would come.

And then when we got the referral in November for a sweet baby boy.....I knew he was Levi.  Our 5th child, and our first child where there was no negotiating or discussing of a name.  He was my Levi.

About a month after we got his referral I started to feel some frustrations over the whole process....Why does it have to take so long?  Why can't I go get him now?  He has some medical issues...shouldn't we get him to the doctor NOW?  What if his conditions get worse before we can bring him home?  etc. etc.  I needed God's comfort in a big way.  I opened my Bible to search for that passage the Lord had given me about my Levi a few years ago.  I searched and searched and couldn't find it.  Instead the Lord brought me to Numbers of all places and this is what I found.....

"The Levites are mine...They are to be mine.  I am the Lord." -Num 3:12

"The Levites are to be mine.  I am the Lord." -Num. 3:45

"you are to set the Levites apart from the other Israelites, and the Levites will be Mine." -Num. 8:14

God said to me very powerfully that evening, "Levi is mine.  He is not yours.  He is mine.  I am right there taking care of him.  Why are you concerned?  There is NOTHING to be concerned about.  He is mine.  My timing is perfect.  He is in my hand and I am caring for him right now.  Why do you think he is yours?  He is mine.  And always will be.  In fact, those other four sleeping in their beds right now...they are Mine too.  They are not yours either.  They are all mine.  Treat them like they are mine.  Love them like they are mine.  Forgive them like they are mine.  I will take care of them all.  They are mine.  Chill out."  It was sooo amazing.  God is soooooooo amazing!  His peace that surpasses understanding filled me instantly.  

Then, in January, I had a morning where I was overwhelmed with Levi's medical conditions.  Again, my head was in a bad spot.  Marc was at work and no one knew how I was feeling.  Except God, ofcourse.  That afternoon I got this email from my awesome friend, Krysten:

As I read this, this morning, I immediately thought of little Levi and oh how the Almighty has a plan for his little life.  What a prayer to pray over him:)  

Malachi 2:4-7 "Then you will know that I have sent this commandment to you, that My covenant may continue with Levi, says the Lord of hosts.  My covenant with him was of LIFE and PEACE, and I gave them to him as an object of reverence; so he revered Me, and stood in awe of My name.  True instruction was in his mouth, and unrighteousness was not found on his lips; he walked with me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many back from iniquity.  For the lips of a priest should preserve knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth; for he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts." Malachi 2:4-7

ONCE. AGAIN. God spoke to me through His word and through the name that He had given me for my son.

What's in a name?  
Well, with Levi.....God's comfort and God's words and God's power.  that's all.