5 days till we leave.....

Can you believe it?  We are down to 5 on the countdown.  Only 5 days remaining till Marc and I hop on a plane to CHINA!  I've been trying to figure myself out the last couple days (scary thought, I know), trying to take a minute to process where I am at right now.  I have wanted to journal this week about what I am thinking/feeling/experiencing right now and I sit down to write and NOTHING has come out.  Until last night when I was finally able to relax a bit.  So, anyway, I realize now that I have been compartmentalizing quite a bit these last couple weeks.  We have been carrying on with our normal busy routines ON TOP of me trying to prepare to be in China for 2 weeks, leaving my 3 precious babies home for 2 weeks, and then return to 2 insanely busy weeks when we get home for China.  My brain has been FULL trying to manage all of that and the way I have survived is compartmentalizing.  The only reason that I have kept my sanity, and I do mean the ONLY reason, is God.  I KNOW that He is in total control of everything and He has every detail of everything worked out so all I have needed to do has been to cling to Him and then work my butt off trying to do all that I can do.  And that is exactly what I have been doing these last couple weeks, clinging to Jesus, my ROCK, and working my butt off. 

I have to say that I can't wait to be on the plane.  For those 16 hours I will be able to let everything else go except one very beautiful girl who is about to be my daughter.  In those moments and hours I will think only of her and finally allow myself to spend time processing her, and all that is about to take place.  Don't worry, I have gone there and do go there now on a daily basis, however, in order to function and keep all my plates spinning I can't camp out there as long as I'd like.  I just can't walk around crying everywhere, ya know.  The adoption process is INTENSE.  Intense on every single level.  It is a lot to process.  I love her, I want her, and I can't wait to begin our life with her.

But as for the next 5 days.....we will continue to live for Jesus and for what He has for us in these precious days....Tomorrow Marc will be coaching his last varsity girls soccer game (possibly forever).  This is his last year coaching for Jesuit and tomorrow they are playing in the State Championship game.  ( I could write a novel on how we have already seen God working out His perfect timing in this adoption process but ONE of the ways is that he allowed Marc to be at this game.)  Jesuit has a really good chance at winning the game and I am so excited for him and his dad to finish up their year together and in this way!  Then on Sunday Marc is working his last day at the Firestation.  Then Monday and Tuesday will be spent packing, cleaning, crying, and giving Jor/Luke/Caleb more hugs and kisses then they will like.

Ahhhh, God is so good.

Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

I will praise the Lord all my life;

I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Psalm 146:2