the glorious wrecking.

 I have been thinking A LOT lately about how God started the journey of adoption in our family.

I was 19 years old and out of nowhere the Lord broke my heart for the orphans of the world.

 The older I get, and as more and more time passes since that amazing summer in China, I am realizing that He broke my heart in a truly profound way that continues to dramatically affect me and my life and my family.  

My sweet friend, Katie, brought me a book this week (Silent Tears), and the book is dedicated to "China's orphans.  You are not forgotten."  And when I read that simple start of the book the next day, it got me.  It connected with me right where my heart has been recently.  I will NEVER forget those babies lying in their cribs barely moving.  Lying in a pool of urine.  Shaved heads.  No sounds.  No crying.  Sick.  Mostly naked.  Lonely.  Hot.  I will never forget my weeks with them.  I will never forget holding them and loving them with a love that I felt flow through me that I didn't know existed.  I will never forget.  I wondered why I had never known about this situation.  I didn't want to leave.  Strangely, I felt at home there.  As I left the orphanage that last day in China, I remember pausing and looking back, taking in every ounce of detail I could fill my brain with and all my senses could hold on to, and thinking, I'll be back.  I was sure of it.  However, what I didn't know then, but I do finally see now, my heart never left. 

Tonight I heard Steven Curtis Chapman use the phrase, "the glorious wrecking".  I think he said something like:  God is in the business of wrecking our plans for His glorious purposes.  He then said, "Thank you, God, for messing our plans up!"  I was like, YES YES YES!!!!  This is something that I am sure people who don't follow Jesus don't understand.  But when you follow Him, and He leads you down paths in life that you would have never chosen, and you experience His power and His strength and His awesomeness....and it truly feels glorious!  It IS indeed GLORIOUS!  Amen.  Halleluiah! 

My prayer tonight is that He will continue to wreck all our plans that are not a part of His will.  That our lives will look less and less like the world's and more and more like a very weak family that serves a very very very MIGHTY God!  That He will be GLORIFIED!!!! 

I am so thankful that 18 years ago He began the work of wrecking my plans and replacing them with His.  I will never forget the Chinese orphans that He used to begin this most important work in my heart.

China's orphans.  You are not forgotten.