Either you trust Him or you don't.

In Beijing, a few days before getting Levi, God put deep into my heart Colossians 3:2:

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

And that has since become my life verse.  I have clung to it hundreds of time every day.

A few days after we got Levi, as I was crying myself to sleep in China,

Marc said to me,

"Either you trust God or you don't."

And that was the turning point.

And just like that, armed with God's word and led by my husband,  a new amazing unknown chapter was beginning.....

 God clearly led us to Levi.  

Of that we had no doubt until we met Levi and I started focusing on the earthly things....the things I could see and the fears I could feel.

 He wasn't what we had expected.  We expected a little munchkin with 2 minor medical conditions.

And what we got was a little kid that had much more going on.  Many more challenges than we had been made aware of.  And in China we had a choice to make.  Would we choose to adopt a little boy with many  many mysterious delays and mental things going on or would we jump ship.

And then my AMAZING husband whispered into my ear, 

"Either you trust God or you don't."

I knew he was right.  We had to trust.

And so we chose to follow Him to the boy He had picked out for us. 

 Not the boy that we had picked.  But the boy that God had clearly chose for us.

The transition home with Levi has been incredible.

 Incredibly rough.

 And incredibly awesome.

 

 Since being home, the state of my being has totally depended upon what my mind has been set upon.

 There have been moments that I have wanted to fly off the handle when people make the most stupid comments.  And just a few moments when the fears of the future and the "what ifs" try to set in. 

But for the most part, Praise JESUS, He has kept my mind locked in on Him.

And because of HIM, I have had more joy than ever before.

 

 The Lord has brought us to a whole new level of hard.

(which I am well aware is nothing compared to what so many people go through.)

And He has met us there, growing us deeper in our walk with Him, every step of the way.

 He has placed people in our paths to speak truth into our hearts just when we have needed it.

He has spoken to us through His Word as a lifeline for us every day.

 

 Either we trust Him or we don't.

1Thes. 5:10 "He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him."

And THAT is what it is all about....just living together with HIM everyday.  One day at a time.  No fear or worry of the future...He's got that all taken care of.....just one day at a time dwelling in His presence.

I'll be honest, I guess I've never been in a place before where I felt repeatedly that one day is all I could handle.  I am in that place now.  And it's a hard but fantastic place to be.  The joy and blessings from needing and depending on the Lord so much are truly indescribable.

 As for Mr. Levi....  We have begun seeing some specialists for his medical conditions.

 In a couple weeks we will meet with some therapists to begin "early intervention"....whatever that is.

I don't know even a single minute thing about mental delays.....but I am eager to be a sponge and learn whatever I can to help my baby boy become all that God has planned for him!

 

 Every single day that little rascal has revealed something new that he knows.

 And we celebrate every small victory around here!

His delays could very well just be due to a history of neglect and abuse.  Not to mention the tremendous trauma that he has been through.  I know it will be years till we know what we are dealing with.

And really it doesn't matter the cause....we will just move forward....one day at a time, with our minds FIXED on Jesus! .... And loving the heck outta that little guy. 

  

The question I get asked the most about him is if he is talking at all.  The answer is no.  No Chinese and no English.  However, a small victory is that his babbling has slightly increased.  Let me tell you, there will be a celebration in this house with his first word someday!  

Exodus 4:11 "Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute?  Who gives him sight or makes him blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go;  I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

Ah, yes, and then there are the rest of the kiddos.  ;)

They are all doing remarkable considering the stress that has been at our house the last couple weeks.  (the worst of it all has been this ridiculous eye problem that we brought home with us.  Praise Jesus, we are just now totally healed.  wow, it was BAD.  And the jet lag was brutal for Marcus and I who unfortunately need massive amounts of sleep.)

 And we are back at school.

And SOMEHOW it is getting done. 

 And slowly....but surely.....

 we are finding our new normal.....

 And what has been on my heart the last couple days is how I am soooooooo humbled how I would have not picked out this guy if I had known all of his issues and yet how much I am beginning to love him.  Once again God is humbling me BIG TIME.  Agh!  HE chose Levi and HE is grafting Levi into our hearts and into our family....one day at a time.  It's really all about him and His plan!  He is the author.  God's ways are truly so much more amazing and awesome than anything we could plan or imagine! 

 

 "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Colossians 3:2