This week's reading.

Funny thing, I have never read a book on adoption.  Never.  Never really wanted to.  Until I started reading books on education/curriculums/homeschool.  Reading those books, I have to say....I am learning SO MUCH!  And so lately I have been wondering what is in those adoption books that I keep turning from that I just might be missing out on.  And so this week I have started reading my first book on the topic of adoption.

"The very children who have the greatest need for consistent, focused, responsive care are likely to be the most rejecting when it is offered.  It takes very determined parents to intrusively and persistently impose attachment strategies upon a resistant child.  The challenge of parenting the adopted toddler who has missed out on the attachment process is to regress the child back through the stages of trust and healthy dependence while simultaneously fostering acquisition of the toddler's normal developmental tasks."  page 38

"The transition to a new family is particularly difficult for toddlers because of their stranger anxiety, lack of language skills, and the developmental tasks that they are dealing with." page 35

"Our influence will always be inextricably mingled with all of their other life experiences and with their genetic composition." page 36

"...parents need to proceed with optimism and determination." page 37

"People who are happy with their choice to adopt a toddler view parenting as a privilege rather than a right, and see toddlers as filled with potential.  Thy recognize that there are no guarantees in parenting, and are prepared to respond as needed to a variety of potential outcomes.  Well informed deliberate toddler adopters realize that the act of adoption is just the beginning of a life long process of family development." page 25

It has definitely been a good read.  It's been a bit frightening.  And at other times, very reassuring.  The first few chapters try to put the fear of God into you about adopting a toddler.  I have heard it said before that adopting a toddler is the hardest age to adopt, but this book really really really stresses that point.  I am just now on chapter 4 which is moving into the topics about how to deal with all the problems that can arise. 

I have to say, I am soooo thankful that I never read this stuff before we brought Meili home.  I would have been scared out of my mind.  And I am glad to now be extending my knowledge on what all is out there in the adoption world.  And I actually have learned a little bit from this book.  There is so much more to explore.  I have my second book ready:  The Connected Child. 

Marc would like me to conclude this post by saying: I know this was a little boring but I thought I'd share.