"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world." Jesus

This week we got the phone call we have been waiting for. We got a referral for a Chinese baby girl. When we first looked over her documents and pictures we felt like it all looked and seemed pretty confusing. All of her documents had been translated into English except for the baby's echo cardiogram report which was still in Chinese. So, we began the process of pouring over the paperwork. Within the hour my sister (who is very close to being a Pediatrician) also began pouring over the paperwork. She worked hard at obtaining some other doctors opinions at OHSU. At some point during the day we had also discussed all of the child's documents with our very own Pediatrician. From the baby's documents we could tell that she had a congenital heart condition but the severity was unknown. From the limited data we had, it appeared to be a condition that would be correctable. After extensive research into her documents, by the end of the day we all felt like this was the child that we were supposed to move forward with and adopt, despite having limited info. on her current condition.

That night the excitement was building. We thought we had finally found the girl we had been waiting for. We began to fall in love with her. Earlier in the day her heart condition had been a big deal, at the forefront of our thoughts. By night time, it was a mere "medical issue" that was put on the back burner and would be dealt with once we had her over here in our country. When we thought of her we did not think of her heart, instead we thought of her as our daughter.

The next morning Marc went to work and we talked frequently by phone about how excited we were and started to visualize the process of meeting her in China. I ordered pictures of her and planned to pass them out to the family.

Late in the afternoon my sister called and said that she had found a Chinese doctor to translate the echo cardiogram. The report was not good. A couple hours later a Chinese doctor that I work with called me from Hawaii where he was vacationing with his family to tell me he also interpreted the echo report as very grim. Based on this information they were very surprised that she is still alive. The condition that this beautiful little girl has requires open heart surgery within the first week of life. Without the surgery most babies will die by 3 months of age. The reality of her condition is that she probably won't be alive until September which is hopefully when we will travel to China. IF she was still alive and we were able to get her home to have the surgery, her prognosis would be just as bad considering all of the damage that has already been done to her other organs due to living with this condition so long. So, either way, her life expectancy is very short. At this point in her life, there is nothing we could do to help her.

With this info. we were forced to make the hardest decision we have ever had to make. After buckets of tears and heartache we together made the decision that we believe to be the best for all parties involved to not accept the referral of this sweet baby girl. Ultimately, we felt like this was the best decision for her. She is in a foster home and appears to be surrounded with love. Leaving her where she is comfortable and loved we believe to the best place for her to remain.

It has been a very very very hard and emotional few days.

Thank you soooooooo much to all of you who have sent emails, notes, phone calls, and been praying for us. What an amazing circle of support that God has blessed us with. And the biggest thanks of all goes to my sister, Suzanne, for the hours of time she has given us in helping us to sort through the many confusing medical details. Suzy, Thank You!!!

Through it all Marc and I are so thankful for God's sovereignty, His perfect plan, and His faithfulness. We know circumstances that often look like defeat God can and does use to accomplish His mighty plan. We know that He continues to be at work. God is so good.